I never understood why we needed a made up holiday to tell people we love them. To show them they are cared for. To surprise them with unexpected notes of appreciation.
Valentine’s Day has always been so odd to me. Shouldn’t we express our love all the time and in all ways? Be it June, September, or February?
My friends have always told me, “Oh, Susan, you wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re going to get hurt.”
And they’re right. I do. And they’re right, I have been hurt. But it hurts me even more NOT to put my heart out there for all to see. To hide it under walls and layers and locks so no one can get in? It’s just not me. I have never been afraid of telling people how I feel. Holding someone’s hand. Letting them know I see them and they matter.
It scares me far more to stay silent. Life is too short.
I tell my daughter every day how loved she is by me. How special she is. How grateful I am to be her mother and watch her grow up. From the time she started kindergarten I put post-its in her lunch with messages of joy and love and drawings of our pets. I still do. That’s 7 years of daily post-its. 7 years of love letters 5 days a week.
We’ve never gone to bed without kisses and hugs and “I love you” whispers. We’ve never parted ways whether it’s for school or work or her time with her dad or a play date with a friend without telling each other how much we love each other.
She knows she is so loved by me that it radiates in all that she does. She’s solid. Secure. Seen. Children need this.
But adults do too.
I get excited by people. I get inspired by people. I get hopeful and giggly and romantic and curious.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Some people need Valentine’s Day to express themselves. Not me. Life is now.
Love it.
here is what i love most about the new virtual world we now live. we experience one another in a odd soul-ish way, meet people without ever ‘meeting’ them, touch their souls apart from their odd shapes and sizes and smells. we feel them for who they truly are, what they do and the places they fill, without the distractions of what they may look like.
and we feel love, sometimes almost instantly because we recognize something beautiful and authentic and real and sweet about the voice we hear in our ear.
on this valentines day, i love you very much, susan mcmartin.
thom, you always make me cry with your kind, loving words. i love your right back, mister!
Again Susan, I agree , only you express these thing so well on paper ( the writen word) ” I love you” has always been hard for me to say, (it is just a word after all) but showing you is easy, an action, weather on my sleeve or otherwise, it is an action everyday towards the one’s I love. So ya, V-day, maybe for the soul that needs a shove towards their loved ones, who knows, so quite frankly I’d like to see cupid, Santa Claus, the easter bunny all retire. Do we all really need to BUY into all the marketing anyway, that’s really what it all comes down to, oh and a reminder that I am single, still, again. I love you sweets, you and yer lil daughter too <3
you can be my valentine, debra. i love you every day. in every way. xo
When you grow up in a house with secrets (as I did) and are fortunate to become an adult with a voice (for my children, first, before developing one for myself), you don’t want to waste one more minute in silence. I agree with you wholeheartedly – Life is short. I’d rather live with my heart on my sleeve making heart decisions than consider the alternative…heart-less decisions? Enjoyed yet another gem from you, dear Susan!
yvette, i wish i had been in your home when you were a little girl so i could tell you how beautiful and loved and special you are. thankfully, i get to do it as an adult. i love you.