I have recently been getting comments telling me I haven’t written about sex in awhile.
Susan, I love your heart wrenching columns but… what’s up with sex?
It’s true, I did write a lot about sex in my earlier columns. There was my Viggo stalking, Trader Joe’s drooling, My Gym ball pit crawling stories. And as much as those columns were a hit and went viral, I also got accused of being a slut, a bad mom, and possibly responsible for end of the world… when it comes.
But, I took the punches and to this day I get emails and tweets from fellow Viggo lovers and stopped at Trader Joe’s by customers and employees thanking me for my column. So, I will continue to write what I know — and duck.
Okay, so, what’s up with sex? Well… I’m all for it.
But it’s not easy for a sober, single, working mom to meet men. I don’t go to bars. I don’t online date. I don’t do a lot of things. And I guess I don’t really mind. Maybe because I spent so much of my life chasing men. Maybe because I confused sex and love so often in the past. Maybe because I’ve been with one too many psychopath’s and don’t feel like jumping out of a moving car to save my life again.
Or maybe I’m just enjoying sitting in pajamas watching Homeland a bit more these days.
Sex requires dating. Dating requires planning. Planning requires time. Time requires hiring babysitters. Babysitters requires hidden video cameras.
I’m exhausted already.
But whenever I say to myself, Susan, c’mon, get out there. You’re a healthy, vibrant woman. Meet a man, fall in love, introduce the kid, buy him a watch… I remember all my married friends. All my married friends who aren’t having sex. Married friends who dread date night with their spouses. Married friends who think about having sex with anyone but their spouses. Married friends who are living as… friends.
And it dawned on me. Maybe no one is having sex!
Except, perhaps, Charlie Sheen.
Are we all too tired? Distracted? Over stimulated? Under nourished? Numb from Botox? Has sex become like television? There are just too many channels to choose from so you find yourself setting the DVR and maybe getting to it in a month?
But the truth is sex can be an amazingly beautiful thing. Good for the heart, good for the soul, good for the condom industry. It can make you feel alive, passionate, desirable, healthy, playful and carefree. Most of all, in a time when cell phones and computers have replaced human contact, sex can make you connect to another person in a way that nothing else can. It can remind us who we were before the career, the mortgage, the children.
And sometimes we all need to be reminded of that. There once was a young lady named Susan who loved romance. She loved looking at greeting cards in stores that were for lovers. Even if she had no one in her life to give one to. She loved movies that made her cry and songs that made her think of him. She loved Baskin Robbins mint ice-cream and staring at the moon.
So, my friends, what’s up with sex? I plan to find out.
LOL – love it. And take your time – the trick is having sex with the right guy. As you already know. (btw – over-50 sex is terrific!) Hugs hon!
thanks, christine! and you go, woman!
So the end is the beginning – whats up with sex?
Ask your readers to respond. What does sex mean to them? Really. Mash the responses together into a future column.
good idea! how about you start… 🙂
Get that groove back, girl! And then tell us about it. As a fellow single mother in a big city, sometimes I have to live vicariously
haha… you got it!
Oh, Susan…my generation is relying on you guys! You’re supposed to assure us sex gets less elusive and less complicated! I’m so freaked out that people find less and less time/reason to engage with other humans. (Like, you’re 24 years old, get off your phone and make out with me.) I’m looking forward to your insight over the coming weeks!
haha, jenny, i feel for you! you don’t get to experience hand written love letters and late night calls from a PAY PHONE where you’re desperately adding change so you’re not cut off. oh, honey, i will look into this matter for you and report my findings. in the meantime — you should start your own blog! you’re so smart and insightful!
Yay! I think a lot more people than would like to admit would trade their Iphone for a good old fashioned love letter:) I’ve actually been writing a blog since last summer…I’m the worst at keeping up with it at school, but I’ve written a few fun things…I’d love to know what you think! (www.jennyluisalester.com) xx