I dropped the ball.

There was a time writing my weekly column was as routine in my life as making the bed, brushing my teeth, breathing. There was a time this column was the only creative outlet I had. The only place I still felt I could call myself a writer. The only spot to raise my voice.

And then life started to get “busy”. Responsibilities got “bigger”. The symbolic “plate” got “full”.

Horseshit.

That’s right, horseshit. There should always be time for this column. This column that gave me so much and asked for nothing in return. This column that kept me company when no one would hire me. This column that made me laugh even when I wanted to cry. This column that led to the bigger, busier, fuller life I have today.

So, I’m here to apologize. Make amends. I’m deeply, truly, sincerely sorry, sweet column, for abandoning you. For ignoring you when you never ignored me. For finding time to play with everyone else but you.  I hope you can forgive me, and that I can earn your trust again by my actions — because, as we know, actions speak louder than words.  Although our words together have made quite a sound over the years, haven’t they.

Haven’t they?

So, hello, old friend. All my old friends. It’s me. Still a mom to a now almost eighteen year old daughter who is in the throws of applying to college that I have saved for over all these years. Yes, a far cry from the days of stealing piggy bank change to put gas in the car. I have saved for my daughter’s entire education and future and am I proud? You bet I am. For those of you who saw me on my journey I thank you. Your support in my darkest times carried me. Your joy in my celebratory times elated me. And your love and patience and loyalty in these quiet times have humbled me.

I’m here. I’m back. I’m picking up the ball. Let’s play.

XO

Susan