(this column originally posted May 2014)
Yep. It happened. He arrived. Seemingly out of nowhere but not exactly. Not nowhere. Just not when or where or how I expected.
Make plans… then be prepared to have the universe make far better ones for you.
I’ve been divorced for over 10 years now. Single and, for the most part, happily so. Just doing the mom/daughter/date when she’s not around/usually prefer to sleep instead of date when she’s not around/go to work/flirt/never want to marry again thing.
There have been a couple of significant relationships along the way. But there have also been a couple of near death experiences, jumping out of moving cars, catching guys lying, game playing, commitment phobes, porn addicted, controlling, doesn’t know how to flush the toilet after he takes a dump kinda guys too.
The dating world. Do you blame me if I prefer staying home watching Mad Men on my one night off?
But I love men. I do. I love kissing and talking and sharing stories and holding hands. I don’t need a man to take care of me, support me financially, be a daddy to my daughter or take out the trash. I’ve got that all covered. What I’ve wanted, all I have ever wanted was… something out of a movie kinda love.
As a little girl my favorite movie was Gone With The Wind. I was a hopeless/hopeful romantic even at 7 years old. I truly believed my love story would arrive like a big, colorful, passionate tale and I was determined to not settle for anything but.
Life is not a movie. So people said. So I was told.
Perhaps not. Perhaps life is better than a movie. Perhaps life, mine, yours, is simply a movie that has yet to be seen.
I’m in love. Deep love. And it’s unlike anything I have ever experienced. And I feel like one of those sickening people who want to sing in the streets and shout it from rooftops and grab onto street lamps and swing around.
There is music, there is color, there is dancing, there is laughter, there is passion there is magic. And for the first time ever… there is no drama. No conflicting emotions. No battling agendas. No pain.
I know, I know, you’re all saying, just wait miss love sick Studio City Mom. And I get it — there will be shifts and arguments and moments where the music is harder to hear. But for the first time I met someone who wears his heart on his sleeve like I do. And maybe, just maybe, it’s my turn. I’d like to believe that all that I’ve gone through and all that I’ve learned, all the tears I’ve cried and the heartache I’ve endured, all the growth I’ve made and the path I’ve walked has led to this man, this moment, this time and yes, dammit, yes, it’s my turn for true love.
I’ve always been very protective of my daughter when it’s comes to men. She has only met three guys I’ve dated and that’s only because they were entering the “boyfriend” arena. But my child’s opinion is very important. It’s also important for me to see how a man is with my daughter (as well as my dog and cat). I mean, sure they can be great to me but when you see them yell at your dog for pooping or try to scold your kid for wanting to have a bite of my dinner… well, that’s when I say adios (and a lot of other words that I won’t print here).
My animals love this man I’m with and I knew it was time to let him get to know my daughter. We’re a package, after all. A team. So, the three of us spent an afternoon and evening together. We played music, laughed, talked, simply hung out. And in a private moment my girl leaned into me, unprompted, and simply said,
He’s a keeper, mama. He’s a keeper.
I think so too, baby.
Better than a movie? Without a doubt.
Oh, and one more thing… he’s a musician. A singer, songwriter, pianist, guitar player and, yes, a drummer. I suppose some things have always been part of the plan after all.