It’s been difficult lately writing my weekly column. Partly because of other projects taking up a lot of my time and partly because I’ve felt like I have nothing to say. Nothing that I haven’t said before. Nothing new that seems worthy enough of your time.
When big things are happening — parenting issues, financial issues, career issues, relationship issues — well, it seems like there’s no end to what I can write about. But lately… everything is kinda calm. Kinda settled. Kinda movin’ along beautifully.
My daughter and I are starting the process of applying to high schools. My fiance and I are NOT starting the process of wedding planning and simply enjoying the engagement stage of life. My job and I are busy with deadlines and show nights and exciting creative happenings. And my home, my new beautiful home, is slowly being unpacked.
Life is tremendous. Blessed. Abundant creatively, spiritually, emotionally, financially, miraculously.
Sure, there’s little things here and there that come up, but for someone who has lived a life jam packed with obstacles, challenges, tragedies, fears, deaths, heartbreaks and failures… well, it’s kinda amazing to be able to sit and breathe.
And so I offer this. If you are reading this. If you are in a place in your life where you feel alone, scared, stuck, angry, desperate, broke, shamed and lost… I have been there. I have been there time and time again. I have felt everything you’re feeling. Circumstances might be different, but the feelings… I know them. And it can feel like it’s never going to get better. It’s never going to change. This is the deck given and it friggin’ sucks. Life is beyond HARD.
Keep going. Trust me. Trust others. Trust the sky above you. KEEP GOING. Because there is a journey you’re on. A story being written. A chapter you’re in and a chapter you’re heading towards. If you can listen, be willing to show up for life and whatever is required of you for today… your life will move. It will flow. It will makes its way toward the place that it’s intended to be. So, get quiet, listen for guidance, ask for strength and courage to keep going. Be open to answers that might not seem to make sense in the moment. Be humble. Put ego aside. Have faith.
And share with others.
My life is miraculous. And what I realize is… it always has been. Even in the darkest of times. Because my story was unfolding. Unfolding in a way that at the time felt awful. Frightening. Hopeless. But without that… I wouldn’t be here. Experiencing what it feels like to breathe. Breathe joyfully. Breathe gratefully.
Even if it’s just for today.
Scribbles… I hope you enjoy! (music/lyrics by derek anthony gray) xo